Thank you for sharing this. You struck a lot of emotional chords.

I am working on a book where I have been struggling to integrate aspects of astrology, because for years I have wondered, Do I really believe it? How could I not believe it when I experienced the first of four profound events that involved a crab claw, that has multiple levels of meaning to me, which includes being my astrological sign?

And just as I have been working on trying to make sense of it in my memoir, you post this.

My book is a manifestation of many of the things you describe, but through day-to day activities that led me to four intensely personal, profound events (intermingled with a number of others) I experienced over about a 15-year time span.

I no longer believe I have free will, or as you say:

I believe I have "...attune(d my) personal will (or ego) to that of the Primal Will (of divinity, or super consciousness)…."

and as Paul Foster Case says,

“We ourselves will learn from our practice that the strength of our volition is measured by the degree of our willingness to let life find unobstructed manifestation through us.”

This is the essence of my book: Victory through self-acceptance.

Of course, I am also maternal, domestic, sensitive, etc. My book is a story of how much I wanted children, and how many of these events benefitted my daughters, but because it is about a mother and her daughters, I have wondered if anyone will ever care to read it.

Still, this is what I have been doing and what I believe has led to the profound events that are happening in my life:

I have been "...nurturing (my) creative talents (the churning ocean) through mature discipline (as symbolized by the king upon his throne), mental acuity (the yellow grail), and vision (the king’s far-off, yet decisive gaze).

Once again, Thank You! Your timing was perfect! I would be interested in quoting you when I get to the conclusion, which will be a while, so it will give you time to decide. I have posted a number of stories on Medium and on my blog at ceejae-devine.com if you would care to see the quality of my writing.